Supporting Families of Hostages: The Agony of Uncertainty
Family Support

Supporting Families of Hostages: The Agony of Uncertainty

In the months following October 7, many families faced an unbearable reality: their loved ones were not confirmed dead or alive. They were taken—vanished into an unimaginable void.

February 12, 20241 min read

In the months following October 7, many families faced an unbearable reality: their loved ones were not confirmed dead or alive. They were taken—vanished into an unimaginable void.

Mental Health First Aid Israel has been working closely with the families of hostages, offering psychological first aid tailored to the unique torture of ambiguous loss. Unlike bereavement, which follows a tragic but clear finality, ambiguous loss suspends grief in limbo.

Research by Dr. Pauline Boss, a pioneer in this field, shows that such uncertainty triggers cycles of hope and despair, exhaustion and activism. Families oscillate between imagining rescue and fearing the worst—sometimes within the same hour.

MHFA volunteers supporting these families are trained not to offer false comfort or premature closure. Instead, they provide steady, compassionate presence. They help families find meaning in action—advocacy, memorials, or community support—while also honoring moments of stillness and sorrow.

Healing in ambiguity doesn't mean resolution. It means learning to carry the weight of not knowing.

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